'Help' with awakening at perimenopause

Recently I went to the doctors because I felt I couldn't do my job as a nurse anymore after having a sudden change in how I saw the world and an increase in my intuition around the time I started my journey with perimenopause. I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting, but I wanted to know what support there was for me.

The doctor I spoke to was really lovely and I was grateful for an honest and open conversation about it all, but it did remind me of the limited support to choose from in the medical system.

One of the things that I was offered was HRT, because as the doctor said 'many woman experience some sort of awakening at perimenopause and HRT helps'

I wondered what she meant by 'helps'

It felt a little like when I was offered the contraceptive pill to 'help' regulate my menstrual cycle.  I took this for many years until I discovered that what it actually did was the opposite.

I know that HRT might help with SYMPTOMS of awakening at perimenopause, just as the pill might help with SYMPTOMS of hormone imbalance, and I know that taking HRT might have other benefits for some and there may be medical reasons for using it.  This is not about the pros or cons of HRT and I personally would encourage anyone to use whatever support feels right for them and their body. This is more about the often acknowledged parts of perimenopause and other options for support with 'awakening' at perimenopause...

I felt positive that it was recognised by the medical profession that women can experience some sort of awakening at perimenopause. Perimenopause is after all a rite of passage, in other cultures honored and seen as an important time in a woman's life. Rites of passage can be seen as a spiritual time where the veil is thinner, we can access or get in touch with deeper parts of ourselves, or shed things that are no longer in alignment.

Although it was recognized, it felt strange that HRT was the only thing the doctor had to offer me to support this.  And I felt it reduced what was to me a profound spiritual experience into something that was wrong with me needing to be fixed.

It made me question how else we could support women who may experience what feel like an awakening of sorts at perimenopause, and recognise this part of their journey as something valid.

Google says Awakening 'generally refers to the process of waking up from sleep, but it also commonly describes a moment of realization, recognition, or a new understanding of something, often life-altering.'

This actually sounds quite positive, but we all know that these sort of things also come hand in hand with unravelling, leaving behind the old, and the messiness that comes with it isn't always pretty.  I feel that as well as framing it all more positively, some of the best support would simply be space and time to allow this unravelling and for these life altering changes to unfold without having to pretend to hold it all together. Sadly though, time is something the doctor simply didn't have and something that many perimenopausal women just don't have either!  They have to keep going. And they are often made to feel there is something wrong with them if they don't.

Perhaps then, managing the symptoms of awakening is the best we can do. 

But I also know from having worked with many women who have taken HRT, that this support and this time is still needed, they can still choose to experience perimenopause as a rite of passage, a spiritual journey and all that comes with it. And for those that do use HRT to avoid it, it doesn't always help on its own for this part of the journey anyway.

I don't want to work against the medical system but just to fill in the gaps that are missed so that women can receive the holistic support that they need,  I just feel that if women are ONLY turning to the health service for support then there is a whole world missing for them. And yet again we are medicalizing something that has SO much more meaning.

I would just love for women to be given more space to be held through this experience, to allow it to be felt (regardless of whether they take HRT) rather than have to push it all down so we can fit into a world that isn't designed around our natural cycles. 

I feel that perimenopause is meant to be to be a time for awakening, undoing and remembering, as we prepare to step into our wise women role, sharing more of who we are and our life experience to help others. But because in our culture there is no recognition of the value of the post menopausal woman, there is also no recognition of what this transformation requires.

I know that this is a sensitive topic and also that there is a high rate of suicide at peri menopause and so I am not suggesting that anyone doesn't seek medical support or take this route.   I know that for some people medication may be the best answer and I am not debating this.  But I also feel that it may improve things if there was more talk about this 'awakening' at peri menopause and more support for women early on, with spaces where women could be held through this time, and we were not expected to carry on functioning at high speed. And the whole process was respected a little more.

I just feel this is something we should be talking more about. And this is the reason I feel passionate about creating these spaces where we can talk more openly about our experiences at perimenopause.

(Personally, I decided against the HRT because I felt it was being offered as a way to turn down my intuition to fit back into a patriarchal system where a more intuitive approach was so needed. And I wanted to keep it turned up. So instead I made the decision to leave nursing. But in terms of other peri menopausal symptoms, I will continue to listen to my body, and keep an open mind to any treatment or approaches that feel right to me whether that includes medication or not. I know our whole physical body also needs to transform and the support for that is another important part of the story yet all interrelated I'm sure)