The Teaspoons and the Wells

The wells and the water have always been calling me to remember....

I wrote a blog about how the wells called me out of nursing, leading me to change course to working with womb healing (the wells and the magdelenes)

But then I went back in to the hospital again to write a book.

And it was the wells that called me out again once I had everything I needed to write it..

It started with a very vivid dream, one of those that feels so real and in the morning stays with you...

I was walking in a national trust property and I saw all the women that come to our perimenopause Satsang, standing next to a holy well- they were looking a bit guilty and they whispered to me that they had taken some teaspoons form the cafe and put them in the well but they were too scared to go and get them back. They asked me if I would help them so if course I said yes. I could see the well very clearly it was the shape of a small chapel without a roof and there was a bench and a rope next to it.

Helping a group of perimenopausal women reclaim their lost teaspoons from a holy well? how hard could that be?????

My subconscious had innocently said yes without really thinking about what that meant.

I did know that this dream was important. I felt that holy wells represented the deep sacred feminine within us all that maybe we had all lost touch with due to conditioning and all we go through in everyday life. I also remembered hearing that teaspoons were something to do with witches and magic, so I guessed that maybe this was all about reclaiming those magical parts of ourselves that we have had to hide.

So I held a circle for the perimenopause group with this as a theme. I remember being really nervous because I decided that it felt right to talk about Mary Magdalene- I felt that she represented how the feminine magic had been hidden and that it was important to share her story and think about how we might relate to it.. but even though she had been a big part of my journey I had been too nervous to share this before. I knew it didn't make sense to be nervous about this because we talked about Kali, Lakshmi and Goddesses from other traditions - but I felt I would be judged for talking about Mary Magdalene who really I guess is a Goddesses of my own tradition- even though most people have only heard the story that she has been erased from. I felt that missing her out from the stories was missing the feminine, and that the reason I felt nervous was because of these patterns within me. So telling her story I thought might help with the lost teaspoons, especially mine- I asked the women to bring a teaspoon to place on their altar to remember their ancestors and their magic- there you go I thought, I had listened to the dream and done what I needed to do- but obviously it went deeper...

Not long after, I was sharing the day keepers rite of the Munay Ki. The day keepers are the keepers of the feminine wisdom, those that honour the earth and the cycles of life, the medicine women, the midwives of life and death and those that have tended to the sacred altars. As we connect to the lineage of day keepers we are receiving their support and remembering this within ourselves and well as healing anything that is disconnecting us from it.

I thought it would be nice to go to a sacred site for this as part of our role as daykeepers, and a number of 'coincidences' led to me discovering a holy well right close to where I live that I had never found before! When we arrived I immediately realised that I had already seen this well- in my dream- it was exactly the same- even down to the bench and the rope...

The beautiful well was overgrown, it felt dark and unloved. The 8 of us in the group felt the grief of the well, the lack of love. the lack of respect for these sacred sites over the years- so we went in, sang to it, burnt incense and sent it so much love. We felt that the Munay Ki were reminding us of what it meant to be a day keeper. We received the transmission of the day keepers rite right there with our feet in the mud. It was beautiful, and when we left it all felt a little lighter.

After that I felt drawn to the well, and I wanted to tend to it, to bring back the role of the daykeeper. There was a lot that needed doing, and I didn't want to damage it by pulling back the vegetation so I was wondering what to do- while visiting another site- by 'coincidence' we met someone from a group who cared for local sacred site and wells. He gave me the email of the person I needed to contact for advice on our well.

I emailed them but they said unfortunately it wasn't it there area, and as it was on the land of a campsite I had to speak to them.

This was all around a big time in my life so I hadn't got around to emailing the campsite yet. I had just left nursing without a job to go to despite having 3 kids to look after...I had been told very clearly that I only needed to be there a year to write my book- and a year had gone so I had left. I was shown that all would work out and I would be supported while I write the book but I was scared... so I'd ignored my intuition and taken a clinic job.

I was due to start the following week and I didn't know what to do! One morning I sat on the grass and asked spirit to please help me make this decision, to give me a sign- I aimlessly opened my phone and there I saw a Facebook post- a new café had opened at the campsite right next to the well, and staff were needed. It seemed utterly ridiculous to leave a well paid nursing job to work in a campsite café but it seemed like a sign I couldn't ignore- and my soul was so clearly saying yes. It was just that tiny push I needed to make the decision my soul was asking for, The next day I got the job at the cafe and I let go of nursing...all for a well!

But It was more than a decision between jobs- while nursing I was not being true to myself and my magic, I was hiding my teaspoon in the healthcare system and I knew it was time for me to stop. and reclaim my own magic.

Everyday from the cafe I went and sat with the well, I sang and sent love, burnt incense and I listened too.. she began to speak to me and tell me her stories. I learnt about the daykeepers in our lands- I heard about the well maidens- how they had tended to the sacred waters, and allowed the noblemen to drink when they passed- until they were raped and abused and the waters had dried up.

I felt the well maidens, I felt their pain, I felt it within my own body, in my womb....I allowed myself to feel it, the pain, the grief, the betrayal, the rage.. the story of the suppression of the feminine and how we see and feel it in the waters, and in our own waters. I felt all of it in relation to what I had been through in my own life, as well as the patterns in the collective- I felt it all and as I did I let it move through me - slowly I began to reach the other side- the peace, forgiveness as well as the joy - reminding me of the light that is always on the other side of darkness- something that those who work with the cycles of life know all about.

I wasn't the only one who had been called to the well- there were others too- just as there are many others working with the earth, than land, the sacred sites- a whole team working behind the scenes I understand now.

And the waters are beginning to flow again.

The beautiful wells are being remembered as we are remembering.

And they have medicine and magic to share with us too.

Well... I was 'let go' from the job in the café, but I had done what I needed to do, I had helped the well and the well had helped me.

And although I took our perimenopause group to the waters, and waffled on about teaspoons- I think the deeper message was that the drying up of the wells, the disconnection from the feminine and our own source of life force is perhaps what is making the transition more difficult for western women. The feminine life force within the earth and ourselves is waiting to guide us through the cycles of life -but we need to remind her that it is safe now for her to flow again, sing to her, sit with her, listen to her. She will not only help us move through this transition- she will help us remember our magic that we need to take with us across this threshold.

If you are interested in learning about the Rites of the Munay Ki,(for any gender) or the work that I do supporting women at perimenopause -see my offerings below.