The Wells and the Magdalenes

The wells had started calling to me a few years ago- or perhaps they had been calling me all along, I was just beginning to listen again.  It started after a Magdalene initiation meditation where we travelled to the chalice wells in Glastonbury and connected to the Magdalene lineage.

It was soon after that, when was working with my clients, I was drawn to the womb and had a feeling of needing to be able to support them on a deeper level. So I started my journey to learn more about about womb healing and women's health.  Of course as a result I started going deeper into myself. 

I went on my own journey then, a deeper journey of healing and awakening that is too long to share here.

At the beginning of this journey, things started happening very fast, and I was seeking answers and looking for support. During a healing sessions where I asked for guidance, I simply heard the word 'uraeus' but I couldn't find the meaning of it anywhere.

The next night I woke in the middle of the night reading a book I had seemingly downloaded from kindle while half asleep- it was Mary Magdalenes story- she spoke of the uraeus, a snake like energy moving up the spine, and she also spoke of the well. This book was a great support to me at the time as I worked with this energy that was moving through my body, and it also helped me to see, looking back now, how the wells and feminine awakening are so interwoven. This is just one of the many ways I have felt her unseen support over this time.

I first actually visited the chalice well a year later, on the day I qualified as a womb wisdom practitioner and I was ready to branch out with my work into the world. I had just left my full time job as a nurse and I was excited about what was next.  The chalice well was beautiful and it felt really special to be there, where I felt it had all started. My best friend and I sat and meditated in the gardens and I passed on the rite of the womb to her next to the well.

We then went across the road to the white springs. I had read that at the white springs you could ask the dark Goddess for support as you submerged yourself in the water. As I was working towards moving out into the world with my business and facing my fears of being visible- as we stepped into the candlelit chambers, I naively asked the dark goddess to help me to release shame around being seen.  As I started to take my clothes off to enter the well some men arrived and went in first, they were performing a ritual, and seemed to know what they were doing and and looked the part.

I am not usually shy or ashamed of my body but suddenly I was overcome with humiliation and felt so embarrassed about walking in after them-it came from nowhere but was completely overwhelming.  Worrying too much about being seen, I didn't look where I was going, and I fell into one of the pools naked and landed with a bang, my foot twisting on the stone beneath the water and I felt everyone's eyes on me. The shame intensified and I so I tried to pretend that nothing had happened and ignore the pain. I was shaking as I limped into the well, submerged myself under the cold water and repeated my request to the dark Goddess to help me.. and I guess that's was what was happening, I was meeting those exact fears of being visible in that moment!  

My friend and I knew something big had happened, we were silent as we got dressed and walked out as quickly as we could. As we stepped into the daylight and out of sight, I burst into hysterical laughter which soon turned to tears. The pain was unbearable and so were all the emotions that I had felt in there.  I hobbled back to our B & B where I spent the afternoon with frozen peas and pain relief and somehow made it home.

When they told me in minor injuries that I had broken my foot, I sobbed-I had literally just left my full time nursing job with sick pay and I had planned to take on extra shifts while I built up my business. Now I couldn't work as a nurse at all. I had 3 kids to support so in that moment I was so angry with the dark goddess! On reflection however, I had no choice other than to move out into the world with my business which is exactly what I had asked her for.

I built up my business, and I loved the work I was doing. I felt that I had been on a deep and profound journey that the white springs had been the low point of and I was coming out of the other side, stepping into my new role. It's funny though this journey, of course it turns out there was a little more to it. I was soon to learn that it is all a spiral and this was just one layer-but that's another story.

Through all of this though, since that first meditation in the Chalice well, and the day I had downloaded the book, I had felt a new level of support. I had things come to me at exactly the right time, people, places and information that would support me on my journey. I also had times where I felt that maybe I was actually channeling Mary Magdalene- I just felt this beautiful strong feminine presence almost take over me that reminded me of the way I feel when I connect with her energy and all that she represents. 

It had happened quite a few times, usually at important times when I had to make decision or take aligned action. I felt like I was being supported in taking the steps I needed to. 

A year or so ago, I was in a deep state of relaxation at a sound bath in a tent at a festival.  Suddenly there was a loud bang on the outside of the tent we were in.  I remember a sudden jolt, freezing in fear, and memories flooding back to me of times in previous lifetimes where I would have been gathered with others in sacred space and I had not been safe.  

But when I looked around me, I saw that my friends were near, and people were laughing outside.  It had just been some kids messing around.  My breathing slowed again and I realized that I was safe. I was safe to be in this space, I had been safe to relax, and I was safe to here in my body. I could let this fear go now. 

In that moment I felt that presence again, the feeling I associated with Mary Magdalene, like I had felt at the Chalice well. This time I realised that perhaps it was not anyone else.  It felt more as though it was all the parts of myself that she was reflecting back to me- the parts of myself that I had been hiding because I didn't feel it was safe.

I felt she was reminding me that I WAS safe now to embody these parts of myself. 

And so that time she or rather 'I' stayed. 

(Looking a bit shell shocked with waves of wellness, Lexi dells after the soundbath!)

A few days later I found myself driving back to Glastonbury on my own after hearing the word 'baptism' in a dream and feeling a pull to submerge myself in water. I took myself back into the white springs. Although I felt scared, I somehow felt like it was time to revisit, and that it was important- this time acknowledging how far I had come and more ready to step forward in faith. I felt that in a way I was ready to fully embrace these parts of me I had been hiding, almost as though they were ready to be reborn. I had a beautiful experience in the white springs that day and this time I came out in one piece! Or perhaps even more whole.

My middle name is Mary (the lesson again that all you need is within- that energy and support that I felt was never outside of me)  and so I decided to celebrate this return by using this part of my name instead of my married name which to me represented who I became as a result of hiding. 

So I am now Elena Mary.

And this is my story but really it is the story of many, a reminder of all the magic in the world and ourselves, and perhap a reminder that it is safe now to embody all aspects of who we are ❤️

(On Glastonbury Tor, after the second visit to white springs)

Elena Mary, Body Soul Alignment

I now hold retreats throughout the year at sacred sites (with Waves of Wellness, Lexi Dells and Louise Mccutcheon of Mmmyoga), and offer a number of healing sessions, trainings and courses. My passion is for us all to be reminded of the wisdom we hold within.

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